Leave a trail
Not having my mother with me on this earth is a daily hard reality.
No, she didn't leave me a lump sum of money, a house, or anything others might consider an inheritance.
I have her engagement ring that stays on my right hand forever.
I have her wood jewelry compartment that I repainted.
When someone dies, it's hard to let them go, and these trinkets help me keep them alive.
While stuff isn't important in the long run, the memories attached to those meaningless "things" are deeply cherished.
Bibles, cameras, Christmas china, the electric mixer, the bathroom mirror, and the back porch swing if my mama laid hands on it regularly, then I wanted it in my life.
Am I in denial? Am I strangling the past with a grip that won't be able to hold the future? Am I putting too much emphasis on material things? Will all these things become empty with no meaning or value once I've "moved on"? Will it all become so empty that I'm ready to turn over the once-upon-a-times keepsakes to goodwill, or will good come from me gifting it to someone who cherishes it more than I?
Perhaps.
My great-aunt recently passed away suddenly from a heart attack. A story I'm familiar with, and my heart hurts for her children and her grandchildren. As many know, the following days, weeks, months, and years will not be easy.
I found a recipe she wrote that is greatly treasured by my family. It was her chocolate chess pie. This pie goes by many names, one being Tony's pie. Tony, my great-aunt's son, proclaimed it was his favorite pie, so when she made it, it was Tony's pie. My immediate family calls it Aunt Patsy's pie because it is her recipe that was passed to my mom.
My mom would make this pie for Easter and Christmas, and it would be requested at almost every celebration. When visiting home, I would know the pies were in the oven as soon, and the chocolate and vanilla extract would smack me in my senses as soon as I opened the door. I remember being younger and my mother yelling from the kitchen to stop jumping and dancing around. "The pies are in the oven! You're going to make them fall", she'd say. I only understood about pies falling later in life. Haha.
It's just a sheet of paper. It's just a recipe. Who cares, right?
It's holding on to memories.
It's something to pass on to the next generation.
Strangers probably wouldn't pay money for it, yet it holds much value for me.
Even if the recipe were torn away from me, the smell of that pie would undeniably still bring me back home.
Some things are for keeping. And those things are only measured in love.
Leave a trail of things.
Rings. Mirrors. Perfume. Recipes. Stuffies. Cookbooks. China.
No, you cannot take that stuff with you but imagine the joy it will bring to those who loved you so much when that's all they have left.
Beginning of the Chocolate Chess Pie
K Bye
Megan
Just doing life, the best I know how…